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I'm done.
Monday. 11.17.08 9:25 pm
I'm tired of people telling me it's not as bad as it seems.
What the fuck do they know.

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In deep thought
Monday. 11.10.08 9:55 pm
Sometimes, I'll be just sitting here in my living room, and I'll look around, and I'll be overtaken by an overwhelming sense of.. confusion. Confusion about how mankind has developed the way it has. Not only in behavior, but also like.. material things.
I'll think about 27" TV's, to the large stereo complete with large speakers, to the flat screen computer with high-speed internet. How did we come up with all of these things? It just baffles me so much. Do ants have little houses down there with tiny little stoves? Do pigeons have nests with indoor plumping? How is it that mankind is so much more advanced than other creatures? I just don't understand. No amount of science or history will convince me.

I've become a pro at procrastination. I've read one of about 16 reading assignments altogether in English and US History. Luckily, I have time and tools to be able to catch up. I just can't seem to convince myself to DO anything. I have no motivation.

I kind of feel like I'm slowly wasting away.

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"Hold on, theres a hole in my heart and everyone can see right through me"
Friday. 11.7.08 5:18 pm
I have become an excellent liar. I have convinced them all I am fine and dandy and Britney-as-usual. It works for them, because they don't like when I am in a bad mood, I'm no fun. I am no longer excited excited. And Britney's(different Britney) boyfriend is coming home with her yet again this weekend so we can't hang out. For the sixth weekend she has come down here. Honestly. She messaged me last night, and I thought of how much I missed that big silly girl. When our theater did "Annie", that was the most fun I had ever had in a production. I miss it. I miss a lot of things.

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Dont read if you feel the need to contradict every political veiw that in your opinion is wrong.
Monday. 11.3.08 5:42 pm
Telling two people they can love each other and be a "civil union" but not get married is a condescending form of segregation. We are all the same in the sense that we are all human beings. Legal agreements is one thing and is a step in the right direction. However we are not in the same world we were in 100 years ago. There is this old way of thinking that we are not the same people, that some are not as 'good' as others. I am the same as you, my love is the same as yours, and we are in fact the same. Nothing makes you, or myself, or him, or her, or them better then anybody else. Declining the idea of same-sex marriage but still allowing the relationship to be recognized legally says: Well you can sit there, but you cant sit over here. Human beings should all be rewarded the same rights, including the right to marriage.


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Makes you wonder
Sunday. 11.2.08 9:52 pm

Or at least makes me.

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Night of the Living Dead (1968)
Sunday. 10.26.08 9:02 pm
So as we know, the barrage of horror flicks has been going off like crazy on our television sets for the month of October. They bring back nothing but odd memories, welcomed memories, but still things I seldom look back upon. Most particularly this movie. I put it in the back of my mind for several years, but here it comes... looming back into my life early on a Saturday morning. Black and white figures running the dark, this is one of the places where I started.

I'm not looming on memories past. That was three years ago, mind you. I just to like to remember where I come from. I remember when I first met my boss; Mr. Bowen, he told me something his professor told him when he was in management school. The teacher turned to the class and said "Now, how many of you are democrats? Okay, now, if you're all here, chances are you're here to succeed. You're going to do great in life, then you're going to forget where you came from, just like I did. So chances also are, you're going to be republican in time."

And maybe this isn't necessarily concerning partisan affiliation, especially considering the fact I am going to register as a democratic - it's a matter of self. Who was it I used to be and who am I now? Don't become two different people, I tell myself. Remember where you came from.

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